Sow & Poor’s

Ratings agency · Solana · Est. before records

She rates everything.

Everything gets the same rating. It has never once been revised.

CA To be announced

Ratings issued since you arrived: 0

An immaculate pale pink sow standing in full profile on a seamless rose studio backdrop Rated AAA Outlook stable Under review never

Method

One rating. Applied without exception.

Submission

Anything may be submitted. A bond, a sandwich, a competitor's balance sheet. She does not distinguish, and asking her to would imply the distinction matters.

Assessment

She looks at it. This is the assessment. It takes as long as it takes and there is no appeal, because there has never been anything to appeal against.

Publication

The rating is issued. It is the same rating. Subscribers have described the consistency as either the whole value of the service or the whole problem with it.

The scale

In full

AAA

Highest quality

Assigned to every entity under coverage. Indicates an exceptional capacity to be looked at by a pig and found acceptable. There is no grade above it and, following a review that concluded before it began, no grade below it either.

Earlier drafts of the scale contained further grades. They were removed after it became clear that keeping them implied some entity might one day receive one.

Coverage

Current universe

Rated entities and their assigned rating
EntitySubmittedRatingRevised
Sovereign debt, variousYesAAANever
A bucket of feedYesAAANever
The troughYesAAANever
A rival agencyUnsolicitedAAANever
This websiteYesAAANever
The concept of riskYesAAANever
Entities under coverageEverything submittedNever
The sow lying down alone at the centre of a wide seamless rose studio sweep

The floor of the agency. There is one chair and she is on it.

The sow standing beside a large blank cream plaque on the studio backdrop Certificate blank

On the certificate

Nothing is printed on it, and nothing needs to be.

Everyone already knows what it says. Printing it would introduce the possibility of a typo, and a typo would be the first inconsistency in the agency's history.

The sow lying with her legs folded neatly beneath her, eyes closed Session in progress

On the process

The rating committee meets continuously and has never adjourned.

It is one member. She is asleep. Adjournment would require a motion, a motion would require a second, and there is nobody to second it.

Committee

The full panel

Five sows standing shoulder to shoulder in a level row facing the camera
Quorum. Reached before the question.
Extreme macro of a pale pink pig snout filling the frame
Due diligence, in progress.
A clean pig trotter resting on a slab of polished cream marble
The signature.
A heavy antique brass embossing press on a marble plinth, its die face blank
The seal. Never engraved.
The sow photographed in profile from a low angle, filling the frame
Portrait of the chair.
An empty studio sweep with a single clean trotter print pressed into wet clay
She was here. It was rated.

Notes to the accounts

Three disclosures

Conflicts of interest

The agency rates itself. It has disclosed this, rated the disclosure, and moved on.

Methodology changes

None since inception. The methodology is one animal looking at a thing, and that has proved difficult to improve.

Historical accuracy

Unmeasured. Measuring it would require a second rating to compare against, and there is only ever one.

How to buy

Three steps

  1. 01

    Get a wallet

    Phantom or Solflare, funded with SOL.

  2. 02

    Open the pair

    Use the buy button, once the contract is published here.

  3. 03

    Swap

    Confirm in your wallet. Your holding is now rated.

CA To be announced